THE CONSCIOUS PARENT
This book speaks about how should be a relationship between parent and child. This book is written by psychologist Dr. Shefali Tsabary. Why did she think to write a book on this topic? Why there is a need to explain emotions between parent and child? Is there is lack of bonding between parent and child? Or the way parents grow their child is not correct? What do you think?
Ok fine, you will come to know by reading this book.
It will illuminate you to the fact that you are projecting all your expectations, your fears, your ideas, your dreams on your kids. you implement all your rules, put limitations…likely how your parents implemented on you and their parents …and so on.
we can come to know that, you learn how to grow child from your parents, you implement the same rule on your kid which was implemented on you.
And the saddest is, you expect your child should fulfill your incomplete dreams. which gives stress to the child, it’s like forcing him to do it, whether the child wants to do it or not.
The writer of this book Dr.Shefali Tsabary gives guidance on conscious parenting
What is conscious parenting?
Conscious parenting is the way preferred by various psychologists (and others) to describe a style of parenting that usually focuses more on the parent and how mindfulness can drive parenting choices.
Conscious parenting tells you, instead of putting force on your child, it is better to understand them internally.
So, some practical points are given in this book you read and implement the guidance on your kids after you realize change on your own…
1. It is important to separate you from your child internally, children are not for fulfilling our wish, If you understand deeply with your soul then you allow him/her to move towards his needs instead to fulfill your desires.
2.Children learn what they are and what they enjoy when they allow to sit themselves. let them learn what is good or bad on their own.
3.Spend some time with your child, listen to them what they talk, ask questions, and listen to their talks about emotions, relations, what they think about life…
By doing this you can start understanding your child internally.
4.First preference for punishment should not be given for any mistakes, let them learn among themselves, allow them to know what is wrong or right on their own.
5.Don’t criticize or disobey your child’s actions it will low down confidence and leads to make a separation between you and your child, then after your child shall not share his views with you.
6.As a parent we interfere in children’s life, this will make them disappoint, let give some space allow them to make a decision, allow to think themselves whether it is good or bad for them.
7. Be friendly with your child, built trust in your child so that they don’t feel any fear to share their feelings and their opinion, only parents are the true guide for their child.
8. Don’t be so disciplined, even discipline also responsible for the dysfunction of children, more discipline kills children mentally, let them free at some time.
9. Respect their opinion, allow them to go in the field which they want to do, in case of low confidence help them to regain it, give trust them that you will always be there for ur child.
10.while spending time with your child, explain to them about relationships, allow them to spend time with their friends.
Shefali believes parents free themselves from forcing beliefs on their children. When this occurs, children become free to develop their true identity. Ultimately, Shefali argues this will help children connect with their parents since they’re being accepted for who they are.
Whether you have an infant or a teen, your children need to feel that just because they exist, they delight you. They need to know they don’t have to do anything to earn your undivided attention. They deserve to feel as if just by being born, they have earned the right to be adored.”
“The Sign of Great Parenting is not the Child’s Behavior. The Sign of Truly Great Parenting is the Parent’s Behavior.“ – Dr. Shefali Tsabary
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